From Toes to Tresses

(by Princess, aka Jeannette Crow) 

You've done your research, or you're a BM veteran. You've read or re-read the required reading (http://www.burningman.com/preparation/event_survival/). You already know you need to consume ridiculous amounts of water and wear enormous amounts of sunscreen on the playa, and that ziploc bags and zip-ties are the remedy for almost any logistical ailment there. You are sitting in a pile of playa preparation, but you are still wondering, "How do I tend to my vanity and creature comforts when I am at Burning Man?" Well, Princess is here, with years of vanity and experience tending to her creature comforts, to answer that question.

Toes

• Get or give yourself a pedicure before you go to the playa. Having softer, tended, moisturized feet to begin with will make it take longer for your feet to get totally thrashed. Extra points for toes painted shiny, pretty colors.

• You can also re-pedicure on the playa if you bring the right stuff.

• Moisturize your pretty tootsies EVERY day. My favorite lotion for hands and feet is Neutrogena Norwegian Formula. It's especially for superdry skin.

• Wear socks as much as you can. Only you can make the important choice between fashion and footcare, but the more your feet are well-covered, the better they will fare. If you buy peds (you know, those superlow socks with no cuff), they don't look as foolish as regular socks if you are, say, walking around naked, or wearing lingerie.

• Shoes. A serious business indeed. Deeply personal. You and you alone should make footwear choices for yourself. But here are some qualifications: 1)You should have at least one pair of shoes you can walk endlessly in. Even if they're less than fabulous. You will walk miles and miles. 2) If you are, say, going to walk around naked, or wearing almost nothing, you should have shoes the color of your skin or the playa to wear. Or black boots with 4 inch heels. 3) Sneakers go with slips. 

  But you know, if you want to run around naked wearing orange converse and black ankle socks, that's really ok too. You can do whatever you want. That's the whole point.

Legs

• If you can bear the trial of growing your leg hair out, and the pain of the experience, get waxed before you go. I am a delicate flower of a girl, and avoid such physical discomfort at all cost. As such, I use Nair the night before I hit the playa. Slows hair regrowth a little bit. If you have never used Nair or whatever depilatory you might chose, make sure you do a patch test.

• You'll be wearing sunscreen, but bring regular lotion to actually moisturize with at least once a day.

• You can shave with 1 cup of water: Get 1 cup of water, regular lotion, a razor, and a fruity cocktail. Sit in shade with leg in front of you and cocktail beside you. Lightly slather leg in lotion. Thin with a little water if needed. Run razor along leg in your usual fashion. Rinse razor in cup of water. Sip cocktail. Repeat as needed.

Koochie

• That's right. I said koochie. Boys, if the perfectly normal and natural experience of a woman's menstrual cycle, which there is way too much stigma associated with, and far too much tip-toeing around, freaks you out, skip to the next item now. Really. Ok. First of all, pack feminine hygiene products, just in case. Second, the only feminine hygiene product that is playa-appropriate is the tampon. Everything else produces way too much waste, and you can't put that stuff in the port-o-potty. (Where in the hell do you put them, then? Doubled up ziplock bags.) OB tampons are the my favorite - no applicator means half as much waste.

• Condoms. You should use them, but you may not want to use the ones with spermicide. In the high heat Nonoxynol can cause rashes. My condom of choice for the desert? Beyond Seven and Kimono Micro-thins both have non-spermicidal options.

• Yeast infections are really easy to get on the playa. All that heat makes for very happy yeast. Consider bringing treatment for a yeast infection with you. You or your campmate will be glad you did.

Bum

If you bare your beautiful bum, put extra sunscreen on it. This skin is paler and more delicate than other skin. You have to sit on that ass all week. Take care of it.

Belly

• Requires very little tending, as long as you don't get it pierced before you come out. Don't get it pierced before you come out.

• Do permit the kissing of it, and if necessary, use it for a body shot.

Bosom

• If you bare your beautiful bosom, put extra sunscreen on it. This skin is paler and more delicate than even your bum. Sunburned boobies are a buzzkill.

Neck

Your neck is pretty. Show us your pretty neck.

Face

• 3-in-face wipes rock. They require no water, they clean your face, remove make-up, and your skin feels soft and hydrated after using them. They're also really great for the road trip portion of your BM journey. Lots of companies make them. Not to be confused with disposable face wash cloths like Oil of Olay Daily Facials, and others of that ilk, which require a little water, but less than regular face wash, which I am also bringing to the playa this year. There is a trade-off - while these require less water, and are really convenient, they do create waste that regular face wash doesn't. Trash you have to pack out with you, if you can't find a burn pile.

• I choose my sunscreens based on how nice they feel and how good they are to my pores. My favorite sunscreens are: 

  For Face

  -SPF 15: Dove Essentials Day Face Lotion

  -Higher SPFs: Coppertone Faces

  For bod

  -SPF 15: Lubriderm Daily UV lotion

  -Higher SPFs: Neutrogena "Fresh Cooling Body Mist" spray on, or "Ultimate Sport Sunblock Spray"

• Bring a regular moisturizer in addition to whatever sunscreen you wear on your face. Once night falls you should wash it off to give your skin a break from the extra protection, but you'll need to remoisturize with your regular one.

• Make-up on the playa: Make-up can do neat things. It can make your eyes look scary, your lips look unnaturally red, or your skin shimmer. But if you have a regular cosmetic regimen, it may be hard to maintain on the playa. A lot of stuff you might normally wear will slide right off your face in the playa sun. I use a powder rather than a liquid foundation, and lipliner instead of lipstick. Lipstick melts.

Lips

Wear something on them to protect them from sunburn and prevent them from chapping. You too, boys. Soft lips are kissable lips. My lip balm au current is Blistex Herbal.

Eyes

Wear contacts? I do. I have a lot of friends who find wearing them on the playa really difficult or even impossible. Delicate flower of a girl as I am, I still have no such problem. I wash my hands free of dust as much as is possible, then I do not foolishly dry them on my dust covered towel, then I take my contacts out in my tent, with the door closed. In the morning again: wash well, don't dry, apply in tent. Bring at least one extra pair, and your glasses. Also, you may be able to scam a free pair or two of those two-week, leave-in-all-the-time disposables if you inquire with your eye doctor. Those guys are into trial pairs of contacts.

Tresses

I'm not here to tell you how to style those lovely locks, I am here to say only one word about hair: leave-in-conditioner. Makes for better hair protection, and much less gray-water. You will need a deeper conditioner than you normally do.

Other stuff I can't live without on the playa

• Air or foam mattress. Sleeping on the ground is for cavemen.

• Ear plugs. Crucial for beauty rest

• Long-johns. Sure, it'll probably be hot, and sure, it was hot as hell last year, but remember in '99 when it was 35 goddamn degrees(f) at night? You wanted long-johns then, didn't you? And you just never know about the weather.

• Emotional comfort item. Mine's my journal. Bring a favorite book, your favorite tea. Or your teddy bear, you big sissy.

• Solar shower.

• Extra towels and pillowcases, stored in ziploc bags.

• Stackable drawers. No more routing through giant plastic tubs. Available at your local Fred Meyer or Target.

• Children's sippee cup. Perfect for cocktails. No dust, no spill.

Well, that's all, mes cheris. This is anything but comprehensive. Just some of the things that make being inside my own skin better for me in the desert.

I love you so dangerously that you should wear a helmet,
Princess
Nation of One, Camp Princess

(c) Jeannette Crow, for real. If you wish to reproduce this list, you may do so in part or in whole, as long as you don't edit, and as long as you cite me.